Your best friend’s wedding day has finally arrived! After all the planning and dreaming, people will finally come together for one amazing day to remember forever. Of course, everyone involved wants this day to be as stress-free and happy as it can be, but having a stress-free wedding day is not always the reality.
As a wedding photographer, I am one of the only people with the bride (and groom!) for the ENTIRE day. I witness each minute with the bride and groom as they prepare to walk down the aisle, and I’m there to capture the celebration after the ceremony. I shoot weddings almost every weekend, and there’s one thing that I see every weekend that really stresses out the bride. I’ve seen otherwise calm and collected brides get so stressed that it brings them to tears and puts the rest of the day in an anxiety filled spiral. And honestly, this thing that stresses them out so much is so preventable.
Imagine this: Your friend has been planning this day meticulously for months. All the details are taken care of, now it’s time to get hair and makeup done, relax, and let the day unfold! The bride is sitting in her room and should be enjoying laughs with her bridesmaids and a relaxing session with the hair and makeup artist. Instead, her phone is ringing off the hook.
Too many well-meaning guests and family members BLOW up the bride’s phone on the day of her wedding. People love to call-call-call and text-text-text ALLLLLL day long. For some reason, family members have a heightened sense of urgency on any given wedding day. Something that normally would be no big deal is now the WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED. Usually in a panic stricken manner, they repeatedly call the bride.
“Oh my GOD! I just got here and the flowers are one shade of ivory darker than the picture we sent the florist!!!! WHAT SHOULD WE DO??? We are SO upset???!!! HOW could they get this wrong?”
Two minutes pass:
“I CANNOT find the earring for flower girl little Susie Q’s ear. WHERRRRRREEE IS IT!???? Should I send your brother, or should I call groomsman? Do you have a number? Was the earring at the hotel? What’s the hotel’s number? Or maybe it’s at your grandmas house? What’s your grandma‘s number?“
Five minutes later:
“I just got to the church (of course I’m five hours early) but OMG-NO ONE IS HERE and no one‘s answering!! I think they forgot about your wedding today OMG !!!!!!”
Pretty soon, the bride is trying to deal with 4,000 disasters as if she were in the war room at the freaking Pentagon. “You! do this!” You! Delegate this!” “You! Call so and so and tell them ____”. And pretty soon the stress catches up with her. I’ve seen brides give the phone to a friend and then tell EVERYONE to get OUT. Once everyone’s left the room, the tears flow.
It seems that just when the tears have dried up and the sniffles have passed that some long-winded friend of the bride will call her up.
“Heyyyyyyy pretty bride, how are you? What are you up to right now? Let me just keep you on the phone to talk about everything and nothing at all as if you have nothing better going on today….”
45 minutes later:
“So anyway, I just wanted to wish you a great day and I’m so sorry I can’t be there!”
So, if you’re a bridesmaid, hear this: shut down that craziness before it starts! One of the easiest things you can do to help your friend is to protect her from the hundreds of phone calls that will descend upon her the day of the wedding. Before the big day, have a chat with the bride and offer to be her answering service for the day. There may still be some phone calls that she will have to deal with, but you can screen 95% of the panicked calls for her, allowing her to relax and enjoy the day.
From the perspective of someone who experiences every moment of wedding days every weekend, I promise that having a phone-free day will make a huge difference–it might very well be the difference between an upset bride and a happy one! As a bridesmaid, you are one of the bride’s BFF’s and biggest supporters. Your job on her wedding day is to step in! Go ahead and be the emotional support when things get stressful. And in the months ahead (and years to come), when the bride looks through her wedding album, she’ll very well look at a photo of her bridesmaids and remember what an awesome thing you did for her on her wedding day. Way to go, bridesmaid! Grab that phone, field those calls, and remember to shut the ringer off before everyone walks down the aisle. 🙂
Have a great story about your friend’s wedding? Let us know in the comments!
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